Madame Web hit theatres and home video with all the fun and enjoyment of a case of shingles. Madame Web is a comic book character that is part of the Spider-Man universe. As Sony is looking to take advantage of the good will from the MCU Spider-Man movies, and the animated Spider-verse movies, there’s no question as to why this movie was made. The real question is when everyone involved gave up on it.
Madame Web tells the story Cassie, a young woman working as a New York paramedic. 30 years prior, her mother had been researching a rare spider in the Peruvian jungle, thought to give the indigenous people the power of the spider. Shortly after finding the spider, and just before giving birth, she is shot by the villain (because that’s what villains do). She is kept alive by the indigenous people just long enough to be bitten by the spider and give birth. And then somehow the newborn child makes her way back to New York (it’s that easy) and 30 years later finds she has inherited some of the spider’s abilities, that being the power to see the future. Because the ability to see the future is a trait we commonly associate with spiders. Who among us has not seen a spider and recoiled in disgust thinking that the spider is peering into our future, seeing things we will only experience through the normal passage of time.
Eventually, Cassie has a vision of three young girls being hunted by another spider person. It seems this villain wants to kill the three girls, because that’s what villains do. And so, after not wanting to be involved just long enough for it to be a minor plot point, eventually Cassie takes on the role as guardian and a whole bunch of nonsense ensues.
Normally I am a sucker for an origin story, but Madame Web doesn’t seem to be trying. Truly, it’s as though at some point during production someone decide it was time to wrap things up as quickly and cheaply as possible and just push this out to theatres. The plot is underwritten, the dialogue is terrible, none of the main actors seems to be overly interested in being there, and the special effects are questionable at times. Worse yet, is the villain. There’s no real motivation other than to just be a villain. And for some reason, there is a lot of bad ADR with his character (presumably the script changed, and no one wanted to pay for reshoots). He would need to be better written to just be considered generic.
And I suppose that’s the issue with the movie; it’s extremely generic. It could have just been called Superhero vs. Villain. Sure, there are some tie-ins to the spider-man story. But unless you’re interested in seeing 10 minutes of (uncle) Ben Parker’s life as a younger man, or an awkward baby shower with Peter’s mother shortly before giving birth, there’s nothing here other than to tell you that this is part of the spider-man story.
Madame Web isn’t the worst comic book I’ve seen; that title still belongs to Mobius. But this does give it a good run. It’s just a jumble of half-conceived ideas thrown together. It comes across as a movie that everyone involved gave up on at some point. I’m sure there are some who will enjoy this movie – and more power to them – but for me, this was an entire waste of time. I can’t recommend this even for the most die-hard spider-verse fans.
As it happens, I was bitten by a spider just a few days ago. It was an ordinary spider, but I’m wondering if I too can now see the future. It’s unlikely, but I will test it out by looking into the future to see how the Madame Web sequel looks. Hmmmm… I’m not seeing anything. Maybe that spider bite worked after all.
Have you seen Madame Web? Are you planning to? Let me know your thoughts in the comments.